So, it seems I am still wounded.
Haven't blogged in a million years.
It's actually been 7 weeks and 2 days, since I hurt myself.
I miss running like I'd miss my best friend if she moved away.
I am so upset about not being able to run.
I don't expect people to understand but other marathon runners know what I mean. Biking, swimming, pilates just don't match up to a nice 2.5 hour run on the trails or hills. It's just not the same.
I keep getting my tibia stuck under my talus. The ligaments that hold the joint tight are torn and I keep jamming the tibia under the talus. I'm so frustrated. I still have swelling and pain. I am doing physio and osteopathy and doing everything I'm told but it is such slow slow slow healing.
I realize I'm healthy in all other areas of life and shouldn't take that for granted, but I miss running.
This weekend coming up is the 50 km race I was to be running. I was on good track for training and was working hard to keep on track. Now I'm not even sure I can do a marathon this fall.
Not sure what the mechanics of my injury are at this point or why it hurts so badly, or is swollen at the end of the day.
I'm sure I'll feel better after the 28th of May...when my 50 km has come and gone.
I'm being a baby. I'm acting like a spoilt brat, I know. I WANT TO RUN and I CAN'T so I'm gonna sulk.
When people suggest doing other excercises I want to scream. IT's NOT RUNNING. It's like taking tv away from someone who loves their evening tv shows. It's like taking away computer from someone who is cyber savvy. I've had running taken away from me and I'm grumpy.
I ran 4 minutes on the treadmill and I was overjoyed. It hurt like hell and I had to stop.
I've lost weight since I stopped running.....muscle I'm sure as I feel bloated and puffy and lazy.
So, my plan is to do pilates, maybe some water aerobics at the y (I'd swim but flipper kick is AGONY)
and ride bike with Jack.
I keep telling myself that I have to maintain muscle and cardio care for when I can run again as it will be that much easier. My fitness bank is decreasing steadily and I can feel it in my body.
So, spoilt rotten brat am I.
I am taking my health and my good life for granted. Focusing on what I CAN'T do rather than what I can. It's just a slump and I'm sure I'll get over it........as soon as I can do that first 2 km!!!
